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    January 20

    没有你,我会死的。

    我以前觉得,如果一天不写字我会死的,后来我觉得,如果一天能不写字就好了。
    我以前也觉得,如果一天不听音乐我会死的,后来我觉得,如果一天我听不到音乐,只要我心里有一首简单的歌就好了。
    我现在觉得,如果一天不看电影我会死的,现在的现在我想了想,如果一天我不看电影的话,我看电视剧的话就不会死了。
    所以人是真的会变的,不知道到底是人创造了人生,还是人生改变了人。
    是因为环境因为周围,而不是人的本身。
    我不想写议论文,言论别人的种种,我只要知道,我很早之前就看到了这样的结局就好了。
    虽然还是心里酸酸的,因为他的改变因为旁人的失望,是的,我也很失望,也看不得他的这种改变。
    其实,他又是谁啊?值得吗?值得我这样一个局外人整天为他操心为他担忧吗?
    叶慧婷!你脑子清楚一点!
    是的,也许值得。
    因为我以前觉得,如果一天看不到他我会死的,但是我努力克制过了,所以现在只要我心里有他就不会死了。
    他表现得好的一面,我来不及看就已经过去了,现在呈现在我面前的是他的冷淡和高傲,我已经不能说,这是一种害羞的表现了。
    如果你觉得这是一种很奇怪又很矛盾的表现,那么我请问你一个问题。
    是谁整天会呆在你身边却又让你牵挂?
    谁可以让你整天担心为他烦恼?
    又是谁可以对着你微笑你就会满心欢喜?
    如果他受伤害怕寂寞的时候你是不是希望马上出现在他的身边?
    你难得真的觉得他天天出现在你的梦里只是一种巧合吗?
    难道这不是爱情吗?
    我想说,我能看到你内心深处的东西,只是看了之后会觉得很伤心,因为里面,没有我的位置。

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